Waking Up Alone
by iwannagibbs
Summary: Gibbs tries to figure out why Kate is avoiding him.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of these characters, sadly.

**Author's Note:** This has been cooking for a while and had to be taken out of the oven eventually. Hopefully, it is done to satisfaction if not perfection. Not set in any time frame necessarily as Kate is alive and well and reference is made to an episode from after her demise. Thank you to all the reviewers of my 3 previous works. I am blown away by your comments.

**Waking Up Alone**

Aaaaarrrggghhh!!

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs reached to silence the annoying beep coming from his alarm clock. He thought about hitting the snooze button but in the same instant he realized the other side of the bed was empty, again, so why bother.

For the last week Jethro has been waking up alone. Even the week before when Kate was there she jumped up as soon as the alarm went off ruining any chance they had to talk or whatever, before they started their day. Add in a very messy case and that meant it had been almost two weeks since they had any meaningful conversation away from work.

This morning Jethro laid on his back and stared at the ceiling trying to remember what he had done to cause the vacancy on the other side of the bed. Kate's reasons for being gone didn't make sense to him and he didn't believe them. One day she wanted to get an early start on reports, another she was gone to pick something up at her apartment and he couldn't remember what yesterday's reason had been. And today…well who knows what today's excuse will be he thought angrily. Obviously something was wrong but he couldn't seem to get any time to talk to Kate about it.

Kate and Jethro have been together for six months and as relationships go, especially his, it has been pretty smooth. When they finally gave in to their mutual attraction after almost two years it was nothing short of amazing. Jethro was more than a little surprised to learn that Kate returned his very strong feelings. All the fears he had about them together were eventually turned aside and put away. He trusted Kate with his life from the beginning; the job demanded that, but trusting her with his heart and soul was another matter and he still struggled with it sometimes.

Of course it was Kate who took the first step—she was braver in these matters than he would ever be. She cornered him in the parking garage one late night after a case. Everyone else was already gone. Kate followed him to his car and backed him up against the door. He still wasn't sure how she managed that; probably some secret Secret Service move he told himself at the time. Before he had a chance to ask her what she was doing she had her hands on his chest and her lips on his mouth. It was one of the sweetest, most seductive kisses he had ever been part of. When Kate pulled back he was speechless and more than a little pleased. She looked him in the eyes and with her fingers on his lips to silence him—as if he could have spoken—she told him she was pretty sure she was in love with him and if he felt anything like that for her he should let her know pretty soon. She said the kiss was either the first of thousands they could share, or their last. Then she told him it was all up to him, walked to her car and drove away. The whole thing probably took less than five minutes but those five minutes changed their lives.

By the time Jethro came to his senses Kate was gone. He stood by his car reliving the kiss and reevaluating the importance of Rule 12. Of course he knew how he felt about Kate but he had never really believed she could have such feelings for him. He was very sure he was more in favor of the kiss being their first than their last. Jethro eventually got in his car and drove straight to Kate's apartment. She wasn't there! Not caring how long it would take, Jethro just planted himself on the floor outside her door and waited. Finally after what seemed like the longest 30 minutes of his life Kate arrived home with two bags of groceries and her dry cleaning. Without a word being said, Jethro helped Kate with her packages as she opened the door for them. He followed her to the kitchen and when the groceries were safely on the counter he grabbed her and kissed her with all the longing and passion he had been holding onto for so long. When they finally broke apart to breathe again, Jethro told her he was pretty sure he had been in love with her since she threatened to shoot him on Air Force One. Then, being a man of few words, he proceeded to kiss her again and again making a good start on their first thousand kisses that night. Over the weekend during which they never left the apartment, they talked and made love for hours and confessed their love for each other many times over.

Kate agreed with him they needed to keep their relationship to themselves at least for the time being. Neither of them were foolish enough to think they would have no problems or issues as they began to spend more and more time together away from work. Jethro still needed his nights in the basement with his boat and his bourbon and Kate still needed her time alone with her books. They both respected those needs but over the weeks they spent less and less time apart. Kate was just as happy to be in the basement with her book where she could watch Jethro work on his boat. Jethro began to prefer the basement when Kate was there even if no words passed between them. Boat building was certainly more enjoyable when lusty, stolen kisses interrupted the work every now and then.

After just a few weeks Kate pretty much moved in with Jethro. Her love for him still overwhelmed Jethro sometimes but he was learning to accept it and trust it. He believed Kate would never betray him the way his ex-wives had and he prayed he would have the strength to be the person she believed him to be. If he could be that person he knew he would never push Kate away. It was Kate's unwavering faith in him and in their love that let him begin to trust that love and believe they would have time to make a life together. And he could collect all those kisses she had promised him.

So why he wondered, staring up at the ceiling, was Kate all of a sudden leaving before he got up and avoiding him all day? And it wasn't just that. In the last week or so their lovemaking had not been the same. When they were at home they usually had trouble keeping their hands to themselves. Lately though Kate was more distant. They still kissed and caressed and held each other at night but something seemed to be missing. In fact the last few nights Kate had been asleep when he came to bed and she didn't rouse when he held her and kissed her goodnight. That was definitely not the Katie he had been sleeping with for the past six months. Normally no matter how late Jethro came to bed and how much he tried not to wake her she would hear him and welcome him enthusiastically to their bed. Kate was a passionate and generous lover and she never seemed to get enough of him and vice versa. But, again Jethro realized, something was different these past two weeks. As he continued to put off getting up Jethro wondered what he had done wrong because no matter what, he knew it must be his fault. He resolved to talk to Ducky when he got to work and get some advice from him; discretely he hoped.

All this contemplation and remembering was going to make him late for work and the sooner he got to work the sooner he could at least SEE Kate. Jethro headed to the bathroom to get ready. As he stepped out of the shower it struck him – the conversation two Saturdays ago – that had to be the cause of the problem. While getting dressed and fixing his coffee, Jethro went over the conversation in his head. Kate had brought up the subject of marriage while they were eating that night. Nothing specific, just generally did he see them going in that direction some day. He thought they had talked it all out and agreed to give themselves more time as things were before they worried about marriage. But as he walked to his car, Jethro remembered what else Kate had asked him about that night—children.

He understood that their age difference could be an issue in many areas and having children topped that list of concerns. He told Kate that evening that he honestly didn't know if he was up for starting a family at his age but he wouldn't rule it out. He stressed to her that he just hadn't given it any thought in recent years but being with her had changed his mind about a lot of things so he wasn't saying no. Jethro realized from the beginning that Kate would want children and she should have them so this conversation had not been a surprise. He thought at the time Kate was okay with what he said and the rest of the evening was fine. They made beautiful love that night and fell asleep telling each other how much they loved one another.

But here is was Friday and he had woken up alone all week. Of course he had tried to ask Kate about this from the start but she just blew it off saying one thing or another. Since they been working a messy case they hadn't had much time to talk even when they got home. They were strictly following their own rule and not discussing anything personal at work. The more he thought about it the more Jethro realized what a disaster the last two weeks had been. Well the case was wrapping up today and he was determined to find out what was going on with Kate and get it resolved over the weekend. Hopefully, they wouldn't catch a new case today because they were scheduled to have the weekend off.

By the time Jethro arrived at the Navy Yard he knew what he had to do; whatever it took to get Kate back in his bed and keep her there. Sitting in traffic for almost an hour had given him time to admit to himself that he couldn't deny Kate anything. He had known that from the moment she first made love to him. So whatever she wanted, marriage, babies, anything, he knew it didn't matter; he would give it to her because as bad as waking up alone these past few days had been, living without Kate Todd was not something he was willing to do. Of course now that he figured all this out he still had to find out why Kate was avoiding him. His investigator side just couldn't let a mystery go unsolved. Being an expert at interrogation would be helpful and knowing all the places Kate especially liked being touched and kissed would also help. Normally he wasn't allowed to touch his interrogation subjects but luckily that wouldn't be a problem in this case. The more he thought about it the better Jethro felt and the more he was looking forward to "interrogating" Kate. By the time he stepped off the elevator he actually had a faint smile on his face just thinking about his plans for the evening. First though they all had to get through the day without a new case coming their way.

Stepping off the elevator Gibbs saw his team was in place. McGee was busily typing away on his computer, Tony was busy trying to look busy and Kate was working on her report on the Morris case.

"Morning Boss, traffic trouble this morning?"

"You monitoring my time card these day, DiNozzo?"

"No Boss just wondering. Not wondering anymore."

"Good. I want all your reports on the Morris case on my desk this afternoon. I'm going to talk to Ducky."

The team members exchanged a surprised look. Gibbs actually seemed to be in a good mood or at least not as bad a mood as he had been for the last week. Kate watched him disappear around the corner. What was going on she wondered. The last several mornings Jethro had come to work more than a little grumpy. She knew part of it was because of the case they had been working on but a bigger part was because of her. She wondered what had happened to make Jethro so much less grumpy today. Was he feeling relieved because she had been leaving their bed early and avoiding him all day? Was he going to use that as a reason to put his walls back up and shut her out on the way to ending their relationship?

What have I done Kate thought in a slight panic. She knew Jethro loved her and she thought he knew how much she loved him. But what if her being gone and the strain of the past two weeks was giving him second thoughts? They had talked about marriage and children recently but she didn't think he felt pressured by that conversation. Kate took a deep breath and tried to relax. Jethro wasn't breaking up with her; he was just relieved they had closed the case before the weekend. She went back to her report and tried not to worry. Everything would be fine after tonight anyway. She would talk to Jethro and explain everything and they would just go from there.

"Ah, Jethro, my boy what brings you down here this morning? Not a new case I hope."

"No Ducky, no case. I just wanted to ask you about something you said to me a few weeks ago. Do you remember when we were working the Kyle Boone case and you found me in the observation room watching him?"

"Yes, I remember. I suggested you should let that case go but of course you didn't. What about it?"

"You said something about why Janice had left me. You said I made it impossible for her to stay."

"Well, Jethro maybe that was too harsh but yes, I think that was part of it."

"What did you mean Ducky? What did you see me doing or not doing with Janice that made you think that?"

"Jethro what is this all about? Are you have a problem with your relationship?"

"Uhh, well… jeez Ducky why can't you just give me a simple answer?"

"Because Jethro I can count on my thumbs the number of times you have asked my advice on women and that includes today. Actually, that other time you weren't so much seeking advice as medical treatment as I recall. And because if you are fouling up your current relationship, well, there will be hell to pay and I don't mean in the form of a seven iron either."

"What the hell are you talking about Ducky? What makes you think I have a current relationship?"

"Well for one thing until very recently you have been happier and more relaxed in the past five or six months than I have seen you in a very long time. And for another thing I'm not blind Jethro. I can see the way you look at Caitlyn and how she looks at you. I notice the little touches and the way you two stand just a bit closer than necessary."

"Wow, I guess we aren't as careful as we thought. Does anyone else know?"

"I'm sure Abby had figured it out. Tony is always suspecting something and McGee doesn't pay attention to this sort of thing. But…we all have money in the pot I assure you. So, what's the problem?"

"That's just it Ducky, I don't know."

"The what makes you think there is a problem?"

"For the past week, every morning, Kate has been gone—out of the bed and out of the house before I wake up. She doesn't leave a note or anything and her reasons don't seem truthful to me. She just has been kinda distant and…well things just haven't been right lately. I know this case has been tough on all of us and Kate is tired but I'm afraid it's something else, something I've done. That's why I'm asking you what you meant when you said I made it impossible for Janice to stay. I mean what if I'm doing something to drive Kate away and I don't even know it?"

"Okay Jethro relax a bit. First Kate is not Janice. I believe Kate is a very strong person and I'm guessing she loves you very much. She knows you better than Janice ever did. She shares your passion for your work so that isn't an issue I'm sure. What I meant that day was that you shut Janice and everyone else out during that case. You didn't sleep or eat for days at a time. You were so obsessed with catching Boone that it consumed you and left nothing for Janice. I don't see you doing that now. I dare say I don't think Caitlyn would allow you to ever go so far down that road."

"Well something is going on and I have to get it figured out. I don't want to lose her Ducky."

"I suspect that if Kate wanted to end your relationship she wouldn't do it by sneaking out of your bed in the morning. I'm sure she would be more direct and honest with you. Maybe there is a very logical explanation for all this. Just make some time this weekend to talk with Kate. You can be very charming you know, when you try!"

"Thanks Ducky, that's what I plan to do—talk to Kate and get this straightened out. I guess I still have trust issues and that's really not fair because Kate has never given me any reason not to trust her."

"That's a very wise insight my friend. Having a woman of Kate's qualities in love with you Jethro is truly a blessing. Please don't let it slip away from you."

"Believe me Ducky I have no intention of letting Kate get away. Thanks."

Gibbs stuck his head in Abby's lab after leaving autopsy but she wasn't there so he made his way back to his desk. McGee and Tony were working, sort of, but Kate was not there.

"Where's Kate?"

"She and Abby went for coffee, Boss. Want me to go find them?"

"No, DiNozzo, I think they can find their way back here by themselves don't you?"

"Of course Boss."

Fifteen minutes later Kate and Abby stepped off the elevator. Abby breezed through and said hi to everyone on her way to the lab. Kate deposited a fresh cup of coffee on Gibbs' desk saying, "I thought you could use a refill."

"Thanks Kate. Your timing is perfect."

Tony and McGee just looked at one another. Kate had never done that before. And what was that look she gave Gibbs? And was that a smile on Gibbs' face? The boys were too smart to voice those questions but they each thought them. Gibbs looked up and growled for them to get back to work.

An hour later they all held their breath when Gibbs' phone rang but it was only the Director's aide reminding Gibbs of a meeting in MTAC. Gibbs told the team he would be in a meeting for a couple of hours do they could take a long lunch. They didn't need to hear it twice and Tony and McGee were in the elevator before Gibbs stepped from behind his desk. Gibbs stopped in front of Kate and placing his hands on her desk he leaned down and asked, "Not going to lunch Agent Todd?"

"I'm not really hungry right now. Besides I surely don't want to spend a long lunch with those two. Can you blame me?"

Laughing Gibbs said, "No I completely understand. How about having dinner with me Agent Todd? I'm thinking we can get out of here on time tonight for a change. We haven't had a decent meal together in a long time. What do you say, Katie, have dinner with me.?" Gibbs' voice was soft and low and just for Kate.

"Why Agent Gibbs I would be delighted to have dinner with you." Kate covered his hands with hers and looked at him with that sweet smile he loved so much. "Do you think I could leave about 3 :00 if we don't get a call?"

"Sure, I don't see why not."

"Good I have a couple of errands to run and I want to have time to get ready for dinner. I'll see you at home then."

"I'll be home as soon as I can." Lowering his voice Jethro said, "Katie, I really want us to talk tonight okay?"

In a quiet, silky voice Kate said, "Of course Jethro, we'll talk. Now go to your meeting and I'll see you at home."

Gibbs went up the stairs to MTAC with a spring in his step and a lightness in his heart that had not been there for several days. He knew he needed to focus on the upcoming meeting so Gibbs closed off that part of his brain that was looking forward to dinner. Before going into MTAC Gibbs stopped and looked down to see Kate watching him and smiling. Oh lord he thought this is going to be a long afternoon.

As Jethro disappeared into MTAC for what Kate knew would be an all afternoon meeting, she thought about what she needed to tell him tonight. She was a little surprised by his attitude today and still a little bit worried. The last four or five days had been some of the toughest of their relationship. Not because they were fighting—they rarely even argued—but because she was keeping something form him. They had promised to be honest with each other and now she had broken that promise and it didn't really matter that she thought she had a good reason. Trust was so important in their relationship and now she was afraid Jethro would think she didn't trust him or his love for her. The truth was she was trying to protect herself but was rationalizing it all by thinking she was protecting Jethro. What a colossal mess this could be! Well the only thing to do was tell Gibbs the truth and hope he forgave her for the past two weeks. She knew he didn't believe her reasons for being gone in the mornings; heck they even sounded lame to her she thought. Jethro was too good an investigator to be fooled by her silly excuses. But for some reason he wasn't, or didn't seem to be, angry with her.

Just the thinnest thread of fear and doubt was creeping into the back of Kate's mind. She realized she wasn't giving Jethro the credit he deserved for all the effort he had put into making their relationship work. He had told her about his marriages and shared with her his grief from the deaths of Shannon and Kelly. He had told her of his concerns about their age difference and the dangers they faced in their jobs. Strangely, it was when he told her that his biggest fear was that he would let her down or drive her away somehow that she knew they had a chance. Then Kate realized that Jethro's fears mirrored her own. She told him that she was afraid she would lose her courage to fight for them or disappoint him somehow. And now it seemed to her, that is exactly what she had done.

Kate decided she needed some help with all this so she headed to Abby's lab. She had not told Abby the extent of her relationship with Jethro but she was pretty sure Abby had figured out they were at least seeing each other. Kate knew she could trust Abby to keep her confidence so she felt alright about talking to her. When she got to the lab Abby was not busy so she said, "Hey Abby, could we talk for a little bit?"

"Sure Kate, what's going on?"

"Well, I've got a problem I need some advice on and I need you to keep what we say between us."

"Of course. You know you can trust me" Seeing the worried look on her friend's face Abby knew this was serious. "What's wrong Kate? Has Gibbs done something? Because if he has hurt you I will kill him myself. What did he do Kate?"

"Whoa, slow down Abby. What makes you think this is about Gibbs? I never said he had anything to do with this."

"Okay, this is about a man right?"

"Well, yeah but…"

"No buts Kate. If it's about a man, your man, then it's about Gibbs right? So tell me what he's done."

"Jeez Abby where do you get this info? Yes, it's about Gibbs but how did you know?"

"Give me some credit Kate. You're my best friend and I've known Gibbs for ages. I can see how you two are around each other. I wouldn't be much of a scientist if I couldn't recognize chemistry when I see it. Now tell me, what's the problem?"

"Okay but it's not what you think. Gibbs hasn't done anything; it's me. I think I've screwed it all up. I've been avoiding Jethro for almost two weeks now by leaving before he wakes up and I have to tell him why. I've been keeping something from him and that is such a major no-no. We promised each other we would always be honest with each other. You know how Gibbs can just shut down and it's like breaking into Fort Knox to get him to open up? Well, since we've been together he has really worked on that and has been much more open and honest with me. He has really let his guard down with me and now I've been keeping this secret. I'm afraid when I tell him he's going to think he can't trust me anymore. I know that was a big part of what happened in his marriages –he learned he couldn't trust those women so he just shut down and that was the beginning of the end."

"Kate slow down. Back up to 'leaving before he wakes up'. Are you two living together?"

"Yes."

"Wow! Alright let's move on. Of course I'm dying to know the secret but that's not the point. Why are you keeping a secret anyway? Do you think he's going to be mad about what the secret is or that there is a secret? Does that make sense?"

"Yeah it does. At this point honestly I don't know. I think it's a toss-up really. Oh Abby I just can't believe I let this go so far. If I had just told Jethro last week what was going on none of this would be happening. What a mess!"

"Look Kate if Gibbs trusts you enough for the two of you to be living together I think this can be okay. Whatever you're keeping from him he will understand. Gibbs love you right? And you love him. You just have to tell him the truth about whatever is going on and have some faith in him. Wouldn't you forgive him if the things were turned around?"

'I hope I would. I have told him I would fight for us because I do love him more than I can even explain."

"Then give him the chance to do the same for you. Trust him to love you like you say you love him."

Kate gave Abby a hug and said, "Thank you so much Abby. I knew I could count on you. And thanks for not asking about the secret. I've got to get going. I have some paperwork to finish before I can get out of here. I'll see you Monday."

"Call me if you need anything Kate. And good luck."

Kate made her way back to her desk and finished writing her report on the Morris case. She put the file on Gibbs' desk, turned off her computer and left the squad room. It was almost 3:30 by now and Kate wanted to get home and get ready for dinner. She decided on the way home she would fix dinner herself so they would have plenty of time to talk tonight. She was nervous but knew she had to take Abby's advice and trust Jethro to forgive her.

Kate was just coming downstairs after a quick shower and change of clothes when Jethro came through the front door. He caught her at the bottom of the stairs and pulled her into a tight embrace kissing her before he sniffed the air and said, "You cooked. I was going to take you out to dinner."

"I know but I thought this would give us more time together. Supper will be ready in about 20 minutes if you want to have a shower first."

"Twenty minutes huh? I can think of other things I'd rather do with that time than take a shower." Having said that Jethro began kissing Kate softly on her face and neck while he maneuvered her toward the couch. He noticed though that she wasn't very enthused by his suggestion.

"Yes, I can tell you have something else on your mind but I still have things to do in the kitchen. Why don't you just relax in here and I'll call you when it's ready."

"Come on Katie. You've been avoiding me for days. I miss you. What's going on?"

"I know Jethro, I promise we'll talk it all out tonight. I'm sorry about this week. Can we just have a nice dinner first?"

"Okay, what's another hour or two anyway. I'm going up to change."

Kate went into the kitchen to make a salad and put some veggies on. Jethro came in and helped get everything together and they sat down to their first real meal together in weeks. Jethro made every effort not to question Kate. They kept the conversation light and mostly about work. When the dishes were finally cleared away and the kitchen straightened up Kate let Jethro take her by the hand and lead her to the living room.

They sat on the couch, Jethro took Kate's hands in his and looking into her brown eyes he said quietly, "I know you are keeping something from me Katie. I am prepared to get it out of you and you know I know what to do to get you to talk to me." He said this with a sparkle in his eyes and Kate knew it wasn't a threat so much as an invitation. Jethro leaned in closer and said, "As much as I think we would both enjoy the methods I have in mind, Katie, I hope you will trust me enough to just tell me what's going on. Or…we could do it my way." And with that his lips were on her throat and Kate knew she was going to be talking very soon one way or another. Kate also knew she would enjoy Jethro "making" her talk but that wasn't what this night was going to be about. She wished it was because she was afraid that after she explained herself to Jethro he might not want to be with her again.

"Jethro I know you can be very persuasive and you know I enjoy that but I just want to tell you why I've been avoiding you and then we'll see what happens. Okay?" Kate took her hands away from Jethro's and stood up going to stand by the fireplace.

Jethro looked up at her and for the first time he was really worried. Trying to stay calm he stretched out his legs and said, "Okay Katie let's hear it. What has been taking you away from me this week? What have I done that makes you not want to talk to me and not want to wake up with me?"

"Oh god Jethro, it's not anything you've done. This week has been about me leaving early so I didn't have to work so hard to not ell you what is wrong. The mornings are the only time we ever have to talk and it was just easier to not talk if I was gone."

"Dammit Kate get to the point will you!"

Kate took a deep breath and said, "Okay but please don't interrupt me Jethro. Just let me say this all before you say anything. When I was in law school I was engaged to a fellow student. We were very much in love, he had met my parents the whole bit. I got pregnant. Frank wasn't happy about it and I wasn't thrilled either but after a few weeks we got used to the idea and it was okay. When I was about 10 or 12 weeks along I had a miscarriage." Kate saw Jethro swallow and look away from her for just an instant. His attention came right back to her as she continued, "We were very upset of course and to make a long story short our relationship didn't survive. I don't know why, maybe he blamed me somehow or maybe our love just wasn't as strong as I thought it was."

By now Jethro was off the couch and reaching for Kate. "I'm so sorry Katie. But I'm confused, I know you had men in your life before me. Why would this need to be a secret? A miscarriage couldn't have been your fault. Why would you need to keep this from me or even tell me about it now? Unless…..unless Frank is not the secret and there is something else." Jethro looked at Kate with questions written all over his face. "Kate are you pregnant?" he finally asked.

Kate just stood in front of him with tears in her eyes and said, "No Jethro. I'm not. Not anymore. I lost our baby last week." That was all she could say before she finally broke down and cried. Jethro just stood there dumbstruck. A flash of anger went through him but was gone before he knew where to direct it. He wanted to take Kate in his arms but for some reason he didn't.

When he could finally put thoughts into words he asked, "Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant? For God's sake Kate why would you keep that from me? I should have been with you, taking care of you." Jethro lifted Kate's face in his hands, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I was afraid of losing you just like I lost Frank."

"Dammit Kate I love you! I wouldn't leave you over this. Don't you know how much you mean to me? Talk to me Katie."

Kate could see that Jethro was so hurt he was on the verge of being angry; just what she had feared would happen. She knew she had to try and make him understand. "I thought Frank and I were in love too. We were engaged, we were living together and planning our lives together. I thought we would grow old together and then all of a sudden it was all over. I thought if I lost all that I might lose you the same way. I thought Frank and I were a sure thing and we failed. I was afraid you and I would fail too. I didn't tell you right away that I was pregnant because I wanted to wait and make sure everything was okay. I was going to tell you tonight, that was my plan weeks ago when I first found out. But then two weeks ago something happened and I miscarried. I don't know why, the doctor said it's just something that happens sometimes early in a pregnancy. I wasn't going to say anything but I knew that wasn't right. Not after all my talk about honesty and trust between us."

Kate stopped and looked at Jethro. She couldn't tell what he was thinking. She reached out for his hand but he turned away and walked to look out the window. "Jethro, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me for keeping these things from you. I love you and I know I should have trusted you. Jethro please look at me." Kate touched him on the shoulder and Jethro turned to her with tears in his eyes.

"Are you alright Katie? I mean did the doctor say you are okay?" His voice was so soft Kate could barely hear him. Relief flood her system and she could hardly answer.

"I'm fine Jethro. The doctor said I'm healthy and there was no reason why, someday, I couldn't have a successful pregnancy. Please tell me are going to be alright Jethro."

Jethro took Kate's hands and pulled her close to him. "I won't lie to you Katie, I'm disappointed that you even thought I wouldn't understand this and be here for you. I'm not Frank or anyone else you've been with for that matter. Just like you aren't Diane or Stephanie or what's-her-name," he said with a small laugh. "I'm disappointed Kate but also very glad you told me all this. I love you and I'm not going anywhere. We've worked too hard to be together for this or anything else to tear us apart." He pulled her into a slow, hot kiss that took away all Kate's fears right along with her breath.

"I love you Jethro, no more secrets between us I promise."

"And I love you Katie. What did the doctor say about you getting pregnant again?"

"He said I was in good health and everything checked out. He said whenever I was ready it would be fine. You know this pregnancy was an accident right? The antibiotics I was taking for my sinus infection interfered with the birth control pills. I didn't plan it Jethro; I would never do that without us talking about it and agreeing."

"I believe you Katie. Look, I don't want you to think I'm not upset about you losing our baby. I am very sorry about that. Even if you were just a few weeks along I know it's a very hard thing to accept. But Katie, when you're ready I want us to work on getting you pregnant again. As long as it's okay with you and the doctor says it's okay."

Kate stood looking at Jethro not quite believing her ears. He actually WANTED her to get pregnant. "Jethro are you really saying you are okay with us having a baby?"

"What I'm saying is I love you, I want us to be together for a very long time and I want us to have a family. I can't imagine anything better than having a child with you Katie. Except of course, making that child!!

Jethro took Kate in his arms, wiped away her tears and kissed away all her doubts and fears. Kate wrapped herself around him and realized how much she had missed Jethro the last two weeks. The rest of the weekend was spent making up for all the time lost over the past two weeks. And of course quite a bit of work was done on making a baby too!!

End.


End file.
